four already?

wow. so this is my fourth post. to me thats kinda becoming alot. sorta. um...this next poem is just ok. i dont really like it. not particularly.

regret

why does it hurt worse
when i have nothing left to cry
why does my world stop
when all you ever say is too much
the more you yell
the less i weep
i suppose im just happy
to get anything from you
i will settle for hate
its better than nothing
the world says i should love
yet how can i when you dont allow
such things are impossible
that i can accept
so watch for the day
when it will end
i will give up and you will see
that regret is not my sweet

january 1st 2009

*so although i dont like this poem a whole lot, it does do a good job at expressing how i felt. i wrote it about when my dad would yell at me and we would have fights. he used to get so very angry at me and i wrote this after one of the times when he yelled at me. rest asured that he very rarely fights with me anymore. ever since my therapist and mom found out just how angry he would get with me and how frequently, he has been more careful around me so that he wont get in trouble with my therapist and get the little time that sees me even more shortened. though im very relieved to not have him so frighteningly angry with me all the time, i do miss him. but our relationship has improved little by little. so i guess that is good...
here is my next poem:

two sides fighting

twisting pools
two sides fighting
who decides good
who worries evil
conflict inside
confussion within
thoughts burning
can no one see
are they blinded
to what is happening
lurching schemes
hidden plots
twisting pools
two sides fighting
all a part
of something else
yet we persist
to doom another
we're lost below
covered by self
slipping further
into twisting pools
two sides fighting

january 1st 2009

*this poem is written about the two or so conflicting personalities and thoughts inside of me at the time. i would have feelings and thoughts of anger then sadness. then anger at myself for being sad and angry. and so on. it was really like twisting pools of emotions and thoughts and two opposite sides fighting to death.

so these were the next two compositions in my poem book. i hope you liked them, let alone understand them. if you have comments or questions, i would really love it if you posted them on my blog. thank you. :)