Better

Summer nights, what are they for? I spend mine wasting away in my room, dying to be anywhere else, anyone else. Dying, dying, dying. What brings me back to life each night, it is my crutch, it is my power, my demon. It keeps me from feeling too much, but also from feeling too little. I don't want to feel numb ever again, I don't want to feel this way ever again. I just want to feel the right amount of feelings. I want to feel okay, neutral, better. Better than I am now, better than I will probably ever really be, but still better. That's all I want. On these lonely, god damned summer nights, I just want to be heard, to be known, to be better. I want you to talk to me, I want you to hear me, I want you to stop me. I just want someone to know, to hear, to care. I want them to be able to tell what I need and when, I want them to stop me. Stop me from using my crutch, my power, my demon. I want them to stop me from cutting, from bleeding, from dying each time. I want them, I want you, to make me feel better.