take two

alright, so. you make me nervous as hell. did you know that?
and you, you there, you make me happy like a kid.
did you know that?
you too, make me feel alive, like never before.
did you know that too?
you, yeah you. you make me feel everything i should. you are my better one.
did you know that at all?
you, oh you. you make me feel. you all make me feel.
know that now.

the wind.

the wind is blowing your cold heart away. lets hope it blows you far. the wind is blowing your hatred away. lets hope it blows it far from here. the wind is blowing us together. lets hope it keeps blowing. the wind is missing us now. lets hope it comes back to keep us together.

nothing:
something that is nonexistent;something or someone of no importance or significance

nothing. that is what i am. that is what we are. we are nothing. all of us, each and every one. we are all nothing. nothing matters, nothing is important. nothing is left between us. so therefore we are nothing. and nothing we will remain. nothing we will be.

40th post

lets just whisper
for one minute
keep it all quiet
no one will hear a word
and we will justify
all our actions
we will call forth
those who have fallen
and we will justify
their miseries
we will work for it
and we will see
that we cannot justify
the things we need

miss

i miss you so much. you know who you are. i miss the way we used to talk. i miss the way we used to be.
i miss you too. you know who i mean. i miss being with you. i miss the way you were with me.
i miss you. you know who you are. i miss when we used to be everything together. when we could do it all.
i miss you a lot. you know who i mean. i miss when would laugh and be ourselves.
i miss you. i mean me. i miss who i was. i miss who i will never be.

alone, part 2

i am alone so lets run away. from all our problems. from every single day. we will keep running, until we meet. somewhere in the middle, of this lonely street. we will find one another. and we will stay together. until one of us leaves, and one is left alone. we will abandon our lives. we can stay forever. in this kingdom they speak of. forever with each other. and as we run, we can talk our days away. we can sing and weep until we say, good bye. we will run and run and run. and no one will catch us. we will not stop. we will not let go. and yet, some day, you will leave me, i know. and i will be alone. without you by my side. not with one other person, in which to confide. and i will be here forever, on the loneliest street ever.

alone, part 1

loneliness
creeping about
all in my veins
no one to help
searching
for a way in
stopping my breath
wishing away
all that i am
bitterness
finding me here
running around
eating me up
hatefulness
growing inside
myself is gone
now is the time
to leave me
before
its too late
and then
deadliness
coming out
i am dying
you are leaving
killing all
my senses gone
and death
takes its toll
and we are alone
loneliness
creeping about us

36th post

me and my insides
me and my heart
are about to explode
because we're apart

me and my self
me and my brain
we are falling in love
we are going insane



i really do feel different. something is off. but not in a bad way. its good. its perfect. its wonderful. i love it. im not sure what it is but i do feel different in a good way. i feel like i am about to explode. like any other new good thing will cause me to burst. but i dont mind. i like it :)

you make me happy, whether you know it or not. ~nevershoutnever

theres so many things that i want to tell you. but you dont want to hear them.
theres so many things that i need to tell you. but you will hate me for it.
theres so many things, that are needing to escape. but you will run away from them.
theres so many things, so many things.



ok, so. people. stop it. just stop it.
i dislike people. not all. but most.
they annoy me to no end.
they suck and they are generally bad.
but, every now and then,
you stumble upon that one person.
that person. who is great.
and powerful and lovely.
and they make you feel amazing.
they make you feel loved.
i have people like that.
and i love them very much.
but still, people.
grow up, get a life, and shut up.

what
is this.
what
is going on.
where
are we.
where
have we gone.
all
i see is.
all
i wish for.
now
i dont know.
now
is no more.




i feel so lost. like everything is out of place. not just me, but everything.
i am slipping back into my old self. maybe its summer, maybe its just life.
i dont know anymore. i just feel backwards. like how im not supposed to be is how i am. there is almost nothing left of me. my whole being is turning away. where am i going? how will i get back?




cutting away
everyday
nothing left
to even say
slicing through
whatever is here
nothing else
far and near
everything
is wrong
all is bad
bleeding out
timid and sad




its a rushing feeling
its a beautiful thing
its an addicting touch
like you cant believe
i know its wrong
i know its bad
but theres nothing left
so why not be sad
i love it so much
its helps me so
but no one will get it
no one will ever know

i want you
to want me
i need you
to need me
i like you
so like me too
lets be together
me and you

:)

im generally and completely happy. im joyous.
im sorry i got over you so fast, after everything we had.
but im not sorry for what i have now.
its too good to give up.
goodbye. im letting you go.

dear you

dear you,
i have some stuff to say. it wont be pretty and you wont like it. but i have to speak what my side. so here it goes:
1. i loved you. so much so that i didnt think that it was possible.
2. i did not, however, love you as much as i once did over these last two or three months.
3. i am so unbelievably lonely without you, its crazy.
4. i miss having a boyfriend more than i miss you as my boyfriend.
5. you were my very best friend and now that im hurting, the only person i want to talk to to make me feel better is you, but i cant do that, now can i?
6. what my friends said to you on facebook is not because they were taking sides or assuming things. its because they love me and they know what was happening and they saw the side of you i was too blinded by love to see for a while. but i see it now.
7. my greatest fear in the world is that you will date that girl, you know who i mean.
8. i realized that its alright if you date her, because i will obviously date other people too.
9. you know, what. earlier today i wanted nothing more than for you to appologize and want to get back together.
10. you know what else, i dont want you anymore. i feel bad about all the great times we had and i miss that.
11. i am fine without you. i am ok. i am better. i miss you. but i dont love you anymore.
12. thank you for breaking up with me, i feel relieved and free. a little alone, sure. but not lonely.
13. I AM HAPPY without you. i didnt think i could be. but guess what, i am.
14. you are a great guy. you are an amazing guy, but i deserve someone else.
15. you deserve someone else.
16. we are better not together. you were right. thank you. really, i mean it.

ok, so. imagine, just for a moment, that you are about to lose the one thing that is most important to you. more precious to you than anything else in the whole world. nothing can ever be as amazing and as important to you as this one thing. what if you were to lose it? what would happen to you?