why cant i do anything right?

wow. have fun reading this.

random shit:

ask me who i am
lets leave together
guys are typically better than girls
are we still the same
you were my bff before we really met
i cant help you until you want to help yourself
i love you all, all of the time
abandoned houses creep me out
i love nutella
feta cheese is my addiction
bacteria creep me out too
i feel bad when you feel bad
i love to blog
my handwriting sucks
i feel bad that you feel bad for me
some racial myths are untrue and hurtful
keep it interesting
i hate leaving, i love most goodbyes
i love random shit lists
i still have the urge to purge..
i miss you, uncle
im half confident, have scared to death and shy
i wish i could do drugs other than the ones i am on
i still check under my bed and in my closet at night
i hate it when we fight
i hate it even more when im fighting myself
and i hate it even more more when im fighting with myself over you
every kind of relationship always has strains put on it
i hate and love technology
but computers almost always hate me
i am not motivated like i was in the first grade
i barely remember you
i barely remember me
im starting to heal, thanks to you
french is beginning to make more sense than english
did you know you make me feel as bad as i make you feel
why did you do those things
will anyone even read this
i kinda want them to, but i kinda dont
this is a long list
my bed squeaks when anyone sits or moves on it which gets really annoying
my heart races randomly, but more when we are fighting
im so scared of the world
i still believe in God
i have changed
you have changed
better or worse
ive said this before, but i hate food
i still sleep with a stuffed animal every night
most nights its the one you gave me
i feel like i cant always say what i want to without you getting upset, sometimes
will we always be with each other
if i had nothing else, i would still have hope
i want you to get the message
i love you..

i think. that. i am. a bad person.
what. do you. think of. me.
will i. ever. be someone. worth knowing.
wont i. ever. be anyone. worth being.
i am. someone. that i. hate.
i am. not. who i. once was.
so now. say. goodbye. to. the old. me.

i need to say this

im sorry if you are reading this, but there are things i need to say. can i trust you anymore? do you even care? will you still be here after today?

i still love you, but can i care anymore? im not ready to let you go. i will leave, if you make me, i just wanted you to know.

so be nicer to me. just accept what i do. cuz im not gonna change, even for you.

by the way, i miss who you were dear, lets just go back a year. and lets not forget, or ever regret.

empty

its empty. there's nothing there. only sadness, hate. it cant compare. i'm the one left out. i feel so alone. no one will hear, my dying moan. my life is numb. i'm just plain. i can't stay. for i'll go insane. i just can't be happy. my soul is bare. its all empty. there is nothing there.

altered song lyrics

every day's the same, you fight. to find your way. you hurt, you break, you hide, and try to pray. you'll be just fine. cuz i know, He hears you, when you cry.

sigh

do you ever have those moments, where you are just sitting and chillin by yourself but then you are thrust into reality by some unknown evil force and then and there you realize that you are completely and truly alone? without anyone by your side? with no one to be there when you need them most. they are there with you in spirit, but physically, you are empty, you are alone. 100% by yourself. you are with no one, you are alone.

yeah, i have those moments.

mmmhm

dear life,
im sorry i havent lived up to my potential, yet. but im working on it. im sorry ive almost taken you away, part of me still wants to at times, but im working on it. im sorry i have poisoned you with all my bad thoughts and feelings, but im working on it. i wish i could make you a happy life, im sorry. but i am working on it. im sorry there are bad things in you, but im working on it. im sorry for all the secrets that you have on the inside of your heart, but im working on that, too.
dear life,
i dont love you yet, maybe i will one day. im working on it.

dear..

i love you so much. please dont ever leave me.

i hate titles. it just another lable.

i feel loved when:
you take time to listen to me
you respond to my messages on facebook with thought
you make an effort to keep our conversations interesting
you understand why i have to do certain things and why i cant do others
you respect everything about me
you love me
you make me laugh
i make you happy and i can see it in your eyes

i haven't got a word to say. and when its done i hope you will still love me this way. i am so nervous to be by myself. so please don't leave me on your shelf. i like you a lot but i don't know why. i am afraid to feel for you this time. and so i'm scared to the bone. and so i want to just go home. please don't forget me when i'm gone. i promise not do you anymore wrong.so good day my love, i wish you well. and remember to never tell.